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Spiritual Relationships
by Dr. Mark Pitstick
Relationships are one of the best and
toughest paths to Self-realization.
Yogis who fast, remain celibate, take vows of poverty, and live in caves
have selected a difficult course. But that’s
child play compared to being a "house
holder", a term used in India for one who pursues the spiritual path
while having a job, raising a family,
maintaining a home and all the
concomitant responsibilities. Now that is an arduous path!
Some say soul mates are the ones who can
push our buttons the best and who
drive us crazy at times.
Others believe that everything flows
effortlessly and peacefully with soul
mates. Either may be true at different times
depending on the agendas of the Souls
involved. If I need to increase in
patience and understanding, what better way than living with three
females who have synchronized
hormonal cycles? Who said God doesn’t have an
interesting sense of humor!
The issue of relationships becomes very
interesting when we remember we each
are Eternal Souls. Relationships are not coincidental or unimportant.
Think of the thousands of persons we
encounter in our lifetimes; why do we
form close and lasting relationships with one person but not another? We
have to deal with recurring negative
relation-ships sooner or later. Why
not now?
Don’t be "held back" and experience a
"hell" of lower quality living because
of unresolved relationship issues. Serious
spiritual seekers will make optimal
relationships a priority. Love is the key and relationships provide
a life long workshop for giving and
receiving love. If persistent
problems plague your relationships, consider the soul or karma
aspects in addition to usual counseling
considerations.
Remember that roles
may have been reversed or quite different in past incarnations.
For
example, your rebellious son may have been your stern mother in an
earlier life. Look beyond the usual
dynamics and discern patterns that may need
addressing. Past life regressions under
hypnosis can assist healing relationship
problems by letting go of past life conflicts.
One way to discern if you’re relating to
a soul mate is to recall the first
time you met in this life. Remember the description of memory triggers
or cues that are planned just before
souls return for new incarnations? In
reviewing my first meetings with loved ones, time seemed to stand still
for a moment. My brain seemed to whir
faster than usual as if trying to
comprehend the various energies and feelings. I felt happy inside as our
eyes met and we held the gaze longer than
customary or comfortable during first
meetings.
One of Dr. Newton’s clients told of a
memory trigger at age seven involving
a silver pendant. The pendant of a neighbor lady shone brightly in the
sun and the woman smiled at him. They
became fast friends and, describing the
event from the soul’s pre-incarnation
perspective, he said "I will know her
only a short time before we move, but it is enough. She will read to me
and talk to me about life and teach
me to respect people."
As one progresses toward greater personal
growth and heightened
consciousness, relationships may encounter a
new type of stress. One person may be
actively involved with spiritual and holistic health improvementwhile
the other couldn’t care less. The relationship may suffer if this
gulf widens and interests remain markedly
different. The rapidly changing
partner may be in an overzealous or self-actualizing phase while the
more orthodox partner may be content
with the status quo. People hear the
call in different times and ways. Spiritual wake-up calls
may be misinterpreted as a marital problem,
mental illness, or life-stage crisis.
More persons will be experiencing "calls to action" as the time
arrives for them to let their soul’s Light
shine. For those desiring optimal
soul growth, life’s dynamics will heat up until we agree to share
our special gifts that contain the keys to
realizing Heaven on Earth.
In a loving relationship, both persons
have an appreciation for individual
differences and needs. If problems surface, nourish the relationship,
communicate often, and have patience. If,
however, counseling and mutual
efforts don’t improve a chronically unhappy and unrewarding relationship
-move on. Life is for loving; too many have wasted their lives "sticking
it out."
A major key to healthy relationships is
to see the Divinity in each other.
Relationships based solely on lower chakra energies of physical
attraction, dependency issues, and
money are break-ups waiting to happen. The body may
grow old and the mind feeble but, viewed
through eyes of love, the soul’s beauty always shines through.
Relationships are a perfect opportunity
for seeing the Divine in everyone.
Recall your first loves and how you were thrilled to look deeply into
each others eyes, the windows of the
Soul. The problem is, most people limit
opening their hearts to just a few others.
Then they’re crushed when the
relationship ends by death or parting. Make a habit of looking deeply,
even if only for a moment, into the
eyes of everyone you meet. You’ll be
pleasantly surprised to find the Beloved in everyone.
When first encountering 4th chakra
energies, perhaps during "puppy love", we
may erroneously think love is something we
can lose. As we grow into higher
awareness, we realize love is inside and all around us. Love does not
come from another person nor can it
be lost since we are beings of Love. Then,
whether in a relationship or not, we’re
always enjoying an internal state of
Love.
When a relationship does end, remember
there is more than just one "true
love" with whom to enjoy life. Love deeply but don’t "put all your eggs
in one basket" and set yourself up
for heartbreak. Just as diversification is
wise in financial investing, keep a varied
"portfolio" of beloved friends and
family. Then, when a relationship ends, you won’t be left feeling so
lonely, although, as you now know, you’re
never alone.
I learned this the hard way 23 years ago.
My first love was an inordinately
large part of my life. We were young and I had an unhealthy
over-dependence on her that, naturally,
drove her away. After our break-up,
the pain was so intense that I awakened at night with a wet pillow from
crying in my sleep. That was the only time I
have even briefly thought of suicide
as a way to ease my pain.
My old self died that summer but other
exciting doors opened as Ire-examined all aspects of my life. In the
long run, the loss led to many
blessings and lessons that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise but what a
painful way to grow! I italicize `loss’
because we never really lose true
Love, one of the constants in life.
Brian Weiss says "It is through
relationships that we learn to express and
receive love, to forgive, to help, and to
serve. From the experiences thatsome of my patients have in the ‘between
life’ state, I have come to believe
that we actually pick our families for each lifetime before birth. We
chose to live out the patterns that
will afford us the most growth with the souls
that will most effectively manifest these
situations in our lives. Very often,
these are souls we have met and interacted with in many ways in other
lifetimes." If we picked each other, let’s
love and appreciate one another and -
when it’s time - let go lightly, remembering the Truth.
The older I get, the more I value loved
ones. I deeply love my family and
friends and, during trying times, know that they are providing the
perfect environment for Soul growth.
Real friends and family are there to listen,
share, and enjoy. Loved ones are worth their
weight in gold and are a key
ingredient for spiritual progress.
For more information and articles from Dr. Pitstick, go to
http://www.soulproof.com
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